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Meditation 51
Divine Bookkeeping; Divine Planning

"I'd call it the Lord's leadership, there is a plan for our lives and for our participation in the world. How could one company be so dang lucky? I mean it's pretty hard to explain, isn't it?" Bernard Ebbers, former CEO of WorldCom in an interview with Fortune Magazine.

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Divine Bookkeeping

Bernard Ebbers liked to give credit for the success of WorldCom[1] to his God. Now we know a lot of that successs under the "Lord's leadership" was due to accounting irregularities.[2]

The inability of God to properly classify expenses should be of significant concern to all believers. After all, he is supposedly keeping records on everyone so as to determine each person's afterlife activities come Judgement Day. And if this deity cannot keep books correctly on something as simple as money, how can he be trusted with balancing the details of everyone's lives.

A lot of people who have taken a pass on enjoying life in the hope of becoming members of the choir eternal could be very disappointed when they find their all their credits have been recorded as debits.

Not to worry though. I understand a recently deceased accounting firm (Arthur Andersen[3]) has been retained by God to audit his books. Ooops

Divine Planning

Suppose WorldCom is part of Bernard Ebbers' God's plan. What are some of the implications?

Well, WorldCom is the second largest internet service provider in the USA. So that must be part of God's plan. And because it is an ISP, WorldCom is responsible for delivering porn into people homes; given its size it is probably the second largest porn delivery service in the US. And that must also be part of God's plan. God wants you to have access to porn.

Also, WorldCom delivers e-mail spam, probably the second largest spam delivery service in the US. You've got spam! And that too is part of God's plan. And give due credit to God for efficiency. Because a lot of that spam is porn. And you get it because God planned it that way.

Also, WorldCom provides access to this particular web site for millions of people. So that too is part of God's plan. He wants you to read about Apathetic Agnosticism. And when you consider the possibility of the existence of this particular version of God, it is part of his plan that you need not know, and you need not care.


  1. With time passing, the WorldCom scandal is not as well known as it was in 2002. But a university ethics course keeps it alive. (footnote added March 2012)
  2. Also known a creative accounting; which certainly adds a special nuance to the phrase "God the Creator."
  3. Like WorldCom, Arthur Anderson is being forgotten. (footnote added March 2012)