Meditation 934
A Celebration of Jesus's Weiner?
by: JT
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Once again, Halloween approaches and, once again those crazy Christians[1] are making a new attempt to take back Halloween. They want to rename it - and celebrate it - as Jesus Ween.
My first reaction to it was that this is so silly that it must be a new gag outreach ministry of Landover Baptist Church. But no - Jesus Ween is apparently for real.
How clueless a name is Jesus Ween? They are trying to replace the Christian name of Halloween, which has a legitimate derivation from All Hallows Eve, with another Christian name with no sensible derivation. Logically to meet their aim, where "een" derives from "eve" or from the poetic form "even" which comes from the Anglo Saxon "aefen," they should rename the day as Jesuseen for Jesus Eve. But of course, we already have a Jesus Eve - it's called Christmas Eve. An alternate interpretation of Jesuseen would be Jesu Seen to commemorate the many supposed sightings of Jesus after the Resurrection.
Either way Jesuseen would make sense. But Jesus Ween? It just demonstrates that this particular group of Christians is either too ignorant or too lazy to figure out how words are formed.
One possible derivation for Jesus Ween could be from Jesus's Weiner. Thus, Jesus Ween suggests a celebration of the part of Jesus's body that (according to Christian tradition) he failed to use for one of its significant intended purposes. It gratified no-one; not any man; not any woman; not any beast; not even Jesus himself. Jesus's weiner just hung there uselessly - kind of like the concept of Jesus Ween.
Notes:
- In using the term "crazy Christians," I am not referring to all Christians, the majority of whom enjoy Halloween. Rather I am talking about the lunatic fringe of Christianity. Unfortunately, that fringe is steadily growing.