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A Miscellany 37
Comments on the Church Calendar

by David Marjanović

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Re: The Church Calendar

Weekly Day of Apathetic Agnostic Observance: The Church has selected Monday. No other major religion is using it, and it *is* the day about which people are most apathetic.

Fine -- but what observance???

I sincerely propose the addition of April 1st. The reason is simple -- over most of the Western world, this day is celebrated for a purely secular reason. So far I haven't even found an attempt to identify a religious origin.

21 April: Doesn't this rather come out of nowhere? Does anyone need it? Why should young people especially... ~:-|

31 October: The text for Halloween is atheistic, not agnosticist. The successful secularization of the holiday -- who still celebrates Sámhain? -- is of course a good reason to keep it in the calendar.

21 December: What's the point?

25 December: Don't make up a barely funny word like "Agnostimas". Yuck.

What about:

24 and 25 December: Kurisumasu -- the Japanese celebration of rampant consumerism. A good opportunity to buy more than you need and to exchange the surpluses with your friends and relatives in a spirit of deep generousness (and striking kitsch), just for the fun of it. However, we won't object if any traditionalists prefer to devote the day to its original purpose -- the worship of Mithras.

The word "Kurisumasu" is of course a desperate attempt to render English "Christmas" in Japanese syllables. But so what!!! The vast majority of Japanese has never heard of any religious connection to that day (which is a normal working day in Japan, of course).

Heidentag is Heathens' Day, not just one heathen's. But anyway... it is a religious holiday, albeit for dozens of different religions together. I don't quite see what we have in common with those who try to believe in Celtic or Germanic gods or with those who deify various aspects of nature.

28 December: We might wish to abstain from that one. In Spain this day is used instead of April 1st. Whoever falls for a joke is an inocente -- as ignorant and stupid as the innocent children that were mowed down on that day. So... it's like April 1, but with religious overtones, even though rather perverted ones.