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A Miscellany 297
An Imaginary Tomorrow

by: Michael Heath

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Press release from the Extraordinary Meeting of the World's Scientists (EMWS).

As everyone would be aware this meeting of all the world's scientists was called to address a matter of crisis for the scientific community and the world as a whole.  In short this was the observation that for many years now no scientist has discovered anything.  Neither have we come up with any theories.  In fact there hasn't even been a valid hypothesis formulated for more than 3 years.  The idea has naturally circulated that if we don't actually produce anything then scientists are a waste of time and money.

After considering this problem we - the scientists of the world - have concluded that we've finished.  Yep we're all done.  The party's over.  That fat lady has sung.  We have reached the limit of knowledge.  There is nothing left that we can have any knowledge about.

This naturally raises the question of whether there is anything left we haven't explained.  The answer to this is, yes there might be some stuff we have not explained.  Unfortunately we don't know what that stuff is.  This stuff, what ever it is, is not knowable.  We can't even say whether this stuff is there or not.  It is, after all, beyond what it is possible to know.

The meeting heard from a special committee of religious scientists who suggested to the meeting that this unknowable stuff might be God.  The scientists of the world were unanimous in supporting the motion, "It is a possibility that the unknowable stuff could be God or Gods or any other entity or phenomenon of a supernatural nature but given this stuff's unknowable nature it could actually be anything or, as seems most plausible, it could be nothing whatsoever." 

The EMWS therefore urges the population of the world to just get on with things, have a good life, be nice to each other and not to worry about the God thing.  The EMWS only regrets that the world's population didn't think of doing this before.


The Former Scientists of The World