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A Miscellany 329
Jesus, Master Motor Mechanic

by: JT

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Jesus is a Mexican car mechanic

This image from Facebook reminded me of one of those fine old, but almost forgotten gospel passages which I have taken the liberty of reproducing below.

Letter Of Henry to Detroit, Chapter 17

  1. And these are the sayings and doings of Jesus, Master Motor Mechanic which were told unto me by those who knew those whose relatives had witnessed these happenings in that time and at that place.
  2. So that you can know that these things are true.
  3. And Jesus was standing with the 12 Apprentices explaining the advantages of a straight 8
  4. when a young man, dusty and weary from the road, did approach the place where Jesus stood, saying
  5. Master Mechanic, my car is out of warranty and it will not start.
  6. Jesus looked upon the young man, and even though he was from another village,
  7. saw that the young man was full of faith and saw that the young man was possessed of a fat wallet, very fat indeed, and Jesus said
  8. Fear not, for I have sent a tow truck to bring your car unto me, and my will shall be done upon it.
  9. And so it was as Jesus prophesied, and the car was brought unto the place where Jesus was, and the 12 Apprentices were amazed.
  10. And upon a hoist the car was raised, high upon a hoist, even so high that Jesus could walk under the car,
  11. and even the 12 Apprentices walked under the car, because such was the will of Jesus Master Mechanic
  12. And they walked fearfully, every one of the 12, lest it should fall upon them causing injury and even death.
  13. Yet the car remained above them, fall it did not. And they were amazed.
  14. And Jesus did anoint the car with 5W40 oil, for winter was upon us.
  15. With five full quarts did Jesus anoint the car, every one of those quarts being 5W40, and Jesus saw that it was good.
  16. And five full quarts were entered upon the bill, and the oil filter also.
  17. And Jesus adjusted also the headlights so they would not blind the asses on the road.
  18. And no charge was entered upon the bill, for this was a courtesy service of Jesus, Master Mechanic.
  19. And upon the bill were also entered taxes, local and state, and the environmental charge was not forgotten.
  20. For Jesus said, Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's.
  21. And Jesus did present the bill unto the young man, and after receiving payment, and only after receiving payment,
  22. for before is contrary to the shop regulations of Jesus, Master Mechanic
  23. he did present unto the young man his keys.
  24. And lo, upon the turning of the key, the car did start and the sound was of a new car
  25. even though the winter was severely cold, and snow round about lay deep
  26. And behold! The car did run as if new for 5,000 miles
  27. or for six months whichever was to come first. And the 12 Apprentices were amazed.
  28. For such is the way of Jesus, Master Motor Mechanic.
  29. And you can know that this is how these things came to pass
  30. for they were told unto me by those who knew those who were kindred to those who had witnessed.