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A Miscellany 422
A local church offered to mow my lawn.

by: Kyle Rutland

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As part of a community outreach program, members of a local church came to my door with a bag of assorted snacks and an offer to mow my lawn on the following Saturday.

I was not home, so they spoke with my wife who eventually agreed to allow them to do it after first declining the offer. I don't know the details as she never mentioned any of it to me. I only found out through my daughter who lives in Japan.

My wife hasn't attended church in more years than I can remember, but still identifies as a Christian, reads her bible frequently, and posts religious memes on Facebook. She probably thought she was doing me a favor by allowing them to do it. So now I have to cut my grass on Friday (I didn't plan on doing it until Sunday or Monday) so they'll see it doesn't need to be done on Saturday.

I'm not trying to be a jerk, I appreciate the kindness of the gesture. I do not, however, appreciate the door-to-door proselytizing. I also believe the time and effort could be put to better use elsewhere in the community. I am physically able to cut my own grass and it's not as if my yard is an overgrown eyesore. The time saved by not mowing my lawn could probably help someone else who really needs more help.

So to sum up: My wife clandestinely plots with a church to have them do something she knows I would not allow. My daughter spills the beans so now I have to do lawn work earlier than planned to thwart them and to keep my wife from knowing our daughter informed on her.

Happy Easter!

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